When Amelia finally went into an open air crib, we were really excited. I thought it would be so cool to be able to interact with her right there instead of through the plastic. And it is pretty cool. I have been focusing on that and not holding Amelia because it's (a) easier to leave her in the crib (b) hard to keep a schedule at night due to the different assessment schedule each night nurse has and my sleep schedule. Out of the last 3 times I had held her, one lead to bradychardia/apnea spell and the other 2 were cut short due to constant de-satting.
Now, she is much more stable and awake - well, she is adjusted 3 weeks old now. It had been over 3 weeks since I held her for longer than 10 minutes, but I never thought a lot about it... until I held her Tuesday for a while. She didn't really get me. She wasn't used to me or my smell or something. She did fine, but slept most of the time. On Wed., I got there a little early and she was wide awake. Again, she had a hard time adjusting to my face and contact, but knew my voice. She avoided eye contact for the most part and preferred to look at the room while I was talking and playing and singing. But it was a good hour and a half. At night, I grabbed her for another 1 1/2hrs, and she was again wide awake. This time, after the frequency of the last two days, she was much more with me... she watched and stared and looked at me and enjoyed the time. I think... she didn't rally say one way or the other. But she did much better on her rates than the previous days, and I think she finally felt comfortable in that proximity to me. Finally, a girl who will tolerate my presence for longer than an hour at a time! (Even Xina is hard pressed to put up with me for that long!)
She's always reacted to my voice - over the sounds of the air pumping through her CPAP or tube - so I didn't realize how necessary the holding part was until this week. I change diapers, clothes, bedding, hold her hands when nurses are messing with her, etc.... but it's not really the same. The good news is, now that she's stable on the CPAP, we can hold for shorter times and not disrupt her much - I got that tidbit last night. So even at night, I'll be able to get my fix, and hopefully Amelia will get that I'm her father, and not some random unshaved gray haired guy off the street.
Another note - as my mother noted, Amelia is now equal to the size of my sister when she was born. Though she is now equal to paternal familia babies, she's got a ways to go to catch up to the maternal side. She'll get there in about 2011... Amelia is 5 times her original birth weight, now... wow. I thought only puppies and whales grew that fast.
And yet another note - I want everyone to know what wonderful nieces Xina and I have. The eldest is the only one old enough to visit Amelia, and she held her hand - soon she'll be babysitting. (She is also following in my theatre footsteps) Her sister made Amelia a pretty scrapbook page for her NICU scrapbook and just sent us some music from her choir that is going straight on Amelia's iPod and on her good playlist. The children of LA have visted and are always happy just to be in the hospital and are very supportive to Xina and I. My second youngest went on vacation and apparently her goal was to find something for Amelia (she's almost 5). She ended up filling my brother's pocket with lots of pretty rocks, gave Amelia one of her favorite old outfits, and picked out a present all by herself. (my really youngest niece is still crawling, so she doesn't add much to the conversation - but I think she'll be a gymnast.)
ANYWAY - just wanted to the let them all know that we appreciate everything and love them very much. (You too, Carter, but I didn't want to lump you in with the girls).
On a last note (a B flat) - I've decided to de-emphasize The Beatles for a while; so Amelia's been getting heavy doses of Elvis, Buddy Holly, and the Everly Brothers... I'll work my way forward in time from there. Hopefully we'll be up the Foo Fighters by December.
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